Fay-ker

Talk about a letdown! I was really looking forward to hunkering down and letting mother nature take it's course. Sadly, as I look out my window while typing, the sky looks overcast but not in the least bit threatening; I've seen far worse weather almost every day for the last 2 weeks than today. This is the type of hype and build-up that we Florida natives are so sick of. If the weather people really have absolutely no clue as to the extent or direction of a *system*, then why are there some many "predicted paths" or "5 day forecasts"? I for one could do without all Fay-kery. Really there shouldn't even be weather-persons; it's a job that shouldn't really exist. It's fine to note weather related happenings in the past or present, but to make predictions which are approximately 99.9% of the time wrong is just shameful. Further, I know I wasn't the only one looking forward to some real roughing it; my husband for one would've liked a day or two off of work to brave the storm. But for those who did miss work or school (as did my child his first day of school) for this total psyche out by the meteorological gurus of America, what a washout.

Consequently, I've decided to start making my own weather predictions for our family. This will involve a lot of observation and study on my part each morning as I prepare for the day ahead. In order to accomplish this, I plan to physically exit my home and use most of my senses to determine the weather pattern for the day:

• Feel - Is it muggy as usual? Hot or cool?
  
• Smell - How dense is the horse manure scent from next door? Can I detect any floral scents in the spring? Any smoke from forest fires in the summer?
  
• Sound - Can I hear wind, rain or lightning?
  
• See - Is it cloudy? overcast? sunny?
• Taste - I don't foresee any need to taste anything in my weather observations, so this sense will likely remain unused in my morning study.

And on those mornings when I'm running late or can't bring myself to perform the full spectrum of my duties as the meteorologist of my home, I will resort to simply lifting the blind and glancing outside. I expect my new role will eliminate a lot of the confusion, excitement and disappointment previously brought about by the media. Feel free to direct immediate weather related questions to me, and I'll do my best to provide a complete, up to the minute, scientific answer.