Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Hot Pants!

A couple years before marrying my husband, I remember a shopping trip to Old Navy with a dear friend of mine. On this shopping trip we were both fortunate enough to get our hands on a pair of their infamous Lifetime Sleep Shorts. Of course, Old Navy doesn't necessarily market these popular sleep shorts this way. . Really, they're just set out in a heap with the rest of their sleep clothes. But for me, they're lifetime sleep shorts - or at least ten plus years in counting sleep shorts! When I first purchased these jewels, they were a soft baby blue with tiny little periwinkle flowers all over them, and they were THE softest things you've ever felt. I grew to love my shorts.

They've been with me through thick and thin; through good times and bad. They were my favorite sleep shorts when I first laid eyes on the man I now call my husband. They've been with me through falling in love and out of love and back in love again. They were my favorite sleep shorts when I found out I was pregnant and also when I delivered - not once, but twice. And still, to this day, they are my favorite sleep shorts.

The fondness I feel towards these sleep sweeties is so strong that I refuse to dwell on their slightly diminished appearance. They've been through the wash so many times now that they're really more of a gray. The flowers all over them now look like random spots. And for some strange reason, the crotch seems to have given out. . . I know, I know. . It's easy to imagine the crotch giving out on a pair of fitted pants or tight athletic shorts, but loose comfy sleep shorts you may wonder about. Allow me to clarify: when I say the crotch has "given out," that's pretty much literally what I mean. The material has given and given and given - never ripped - but definitely given generously.

It's fair to say that I might dawn rose colored glasses when dressing for bed; unfortunately, my husband doesn't oblige in the same way. Really, he's just not so fond of my well loved shorts. In fact, he's asked repeatedly for me to "Please get some new sleep shorts." He's tried to reason with me, "Katie got rid of her sleep shorts a LONG time ago" which sadly is true (she may not have been as deeply attached to hers as I am to mine; further, I consider that a bit of a blotch on her intelligence record!). In an effort to appease my husband, I actually have attempted to find new sleep shorts. I have NEVER found anything I liked nearly as much. It's not for lack of trying though! I've even purchased numerous shorts (at least five different pairs) which are usually abandoned after two or three wears at most. "Why bother adjusting to something that just isn't working when I've got old faithful waiting for me in my drawer?" I think to myself. I've even tried parting ways with my favorite sleep shorts - actually throwing them in the garbage. Usually this is when I'm upset. . but like any true lover in a spat, I always come back and make peace with them.

Last night, I was once again forced to defend my sleep sweeties. My husband jokingly began singing "Look at them girls with the Daisy Dukes on!" when he saw me once again wearing my favorite get-up. I flopped down on the bed, and the stretched out leg to my sleep shorts flopped up to my back. It might even be considered somewhat provocative and seductive were they not so completely and utterly. . . well, USED. Still, when I inadvertently flash a family member, I don't take it out on my shorts. No, in fact, that is my cue that they need a bit of TLC- maybe a wash with a good long dry session with a fabric softener sheet to help tighten them up! As it stands, there's no replacement lined up for my old faithfuls. They're in it for the long haul on my behind!


Cindy Lynn said...

Those are hideous. For the love of all that is sacred and holy, burn them!

mokidoku said...

Those are some sexy panties!! ;)

Noel said...

I know a little secret....if you sorted your laundry by colors, they wouldn't be "grey" !!
A. Noel