Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Crabby Patty

I'm crabby. I'm crabby because I'm home and back to reality. I'm crabby because it will be at least another year before I get to go on vacation again. I'm crabby because the vast majority of my life these days is spent on tasks that are overly repetitive, meaningless and annoying. These tasks include such sundry items as are listed (please take note of my baffling outlining skills - one of my many super marketable talents!):
I. Cleaning
A. Kids
1. After any and all food consumption
2. After any and all play
3. After any and all discord
4. After any and all bowel movements
5. After any and all mishaps
B. Animals
1. Cats
a. Litter
b. Food
c. Any and all hairball/upchuck events
2. Dogs
a. Porch and the several inches of dirt/bugs/etc. that they track in on a daily basis
b. Any and all items attacked and/or destroyed in the backyard (this includes in-ground plants, fences, swings, trampolines, tools, dog dishes, dog collars, dog toys, etc.)
3. Chickens
a. Water dish that grows a new layer of mold every 24 hours in the summertime
b. Food
c. Bedding that must be regularly replaced (hay)
II. Supervising
A. Kids
B. Finances
C. Household
D. Pets

So there you have my day in a nutshell. Does it make sense now why I wouldn't be leaping at the chance to return to it? Ya, it has it's fun aspects, but day in and day out, it gets old.

What amazes me is the fact that this is just the standard outline. This doesn't account for any additional poo that may be randomly thrown my way by the forces of nature. The mauled armadillo strewn across our backyard with some sort of larva oozing out of it is not included in this list of 'things to do.' Nor does this list give reason for the fact that our bank somehow didn't clear the deposit for a local check which we made LAST WENDESDAY, and which became apparent last night when I went to fill up my gas tank. This list doesn't even make mention of the dispute the broke out between Jim and I after he insisted that I drive around a barricade for a closed road because he thought it was 'no big deal', but for which a cop was waiting on the other end of said road only to ask why we'd gone around the barricade. Nope, that was just the starting point list. From there quite literally ANYthing is possible. Now isn't that reassuring?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think the armadillo with the larva would have been it for me. That's so gross! It's all gross really! Well, not your kids, I think they're SO CUTE, but the mold and the poo - yeah gross. Let me know when you want to do a beach day. I need to use some PTO and, from the looks of this blog, you do too ;-). "XOXO" KT