Tuesday, July 8, 2008

The Saga Continues

There seems to be no shortage of material for my "Locala" posts.

Sunday we were out and about and passed a sight we'd witnessed before but had assumed was a one time oddity. Now we know this is a more regular occurrence in our new hometown. What we witnessed was a man, several men really, and a woman or two, standing on the corner of a *busy* (I use that term very loosely) intersection with a megaphone in hand. They were declaring their religious beliefs (I hate to use the word "Christian" as it just struck me as stranger than anything I'd want myself to even be vaguely associated with) of the damnation of the world and all who didn't repent (I'm assuming that repenting in their mind would involve the innocent drivers within earshot turning away from their own normalacy toward the fanatical and cult like verbal demonstration of beliefs held by those possessing the megaphone). It really was quite odd. Put yourself in our shoes: you're stopped at a light with no place to go while a few madmen who are only a mere yard or two away shout angrily at you and other drivers held captive at the intersection; you try to ignore them, but at the same time, the spectacle is bizarrely captivating; you're forced to look, thus inciting the freaks to direct their hell and brimstone sermon at you specifically for several frightening seconds. Yes, there's nothing like the love of God being shared so vividly. . .

After bearing witness to the roadside sermonette, Jim recalled another great story along the same lines told by a coworker. His coworker was at another *busy* intersection recently where a different odd spiritual guru frequents. I've seen this guy there myself. He's got some sort of van covered with messages to the tune of: "Jesus is coming back, repent or go to hell," along with various scripture verses likely taken out of context and most definitely portrayed inaccurately (please folks, let's just let the Bible speak for itself. . there's no need to try to be a visual symbol of it. . you're falling vastly short of the mark and quite simply making a public mockery of yourselves. . I digress. .). Anyway, this man basically parks his van at the corner and holds up a sign with a similar message. I'm genuinely curious as to exactly how many persons seeing his message think to themselves, "Hey, that sounds right! I'm going to go talk to that scary looking guy about this right now!". According to Jim's coworker, it was a busy afternoon, and somehow a bit of honking started. I can see it quite easily: everyone is tired and crabby and sick of wasting gas sitting at stoplights, and then there's this man telling them where they're gonna go if they don't develop his same enlightened viewpoint. Well, needless to say, the honking spread; soon nearly all the cars at the light were honking at the man as people jeered with great annoyance at him. A few more bold individuals even began making fun of this odd duck. At that point the evangelist flipped the bird for an extended time period to convey a new message whilst verbally articulating the same message he was signing. Lovely. Just lovely.

You may wonder why there are so many religious fanatics out here trying to convert others. If you've read any of my other Locala posts, there should be little left to ponder. For such a small town, there's an abnormally high ratio of flagrant drug induced behavior, which brings me to my final Locala story. I was driving down the road today near the sight of several other bizarre observations, when I noticed an odd spectacle in the middle of the road. A white haired man, fully clothed with jeans and even a sweater, was pole dancing on a sign in the median. . . there I've said it. There's really no way to brace the reader for what's just been said, and that's about the way it hit me as I drove past the man who was flinging himself sensually around and up and down the "Construction Zone" sign; when I first caught sight of the man he was really giving quite a display of flexibility as he balanced on one leg while the other was stretched over his head resting on the sign. . . Wow. . .wow. .

Just another normal day here in Locala.

3 comments:

Kelli K Bock said...

who knew that such a freak show was a such a short drive away from us growing up....lol...if we'd have only known I would have had a lot more entertainment on the weekends....

Anonymous said...

Do you think there's something in the water?? Maybe a government "thing" where they're testing effects on people?

Danielle said...

I'm all for the whole conspiracy theory thing; it sounds entirely probable to me that there's some sort of weird government testing going on here! And yes, had we only known growing up the entertainment value just a couple hours from our home, we would've been set! I've decided I'm going to start carrying my camera in the car with me; there's just too much happening around me which needs to be more thoroughly documented ;)